The Nechoma Greisman Anthology
Section 5: LETTERS Spreading the wellsprings outward
A Letter to a Woman Soldier
(Translated from the Hebrew original in Oholei Chana)
Rosh Chodesh Shevat, 5741
To Katey shetichyeh,Shalom.
I received your letter several weeks ago, and I have been intending to reply
ever since. Today, I said to myself that enough is enough. I must write now! Of
course, I apologize about the delay.
And now to the issues. You asked why it is that religious girls do not serve
in the Israeli army. I quote from your letter, "Is it so terrible that we, the non-religious
girls, do serve in the army?"
You, as a soldier, know very well what life on the army base is like. In a cloistered
environment, and often far away from home, deep relationships are formed with those
around you. This applies both to those of one's own sex, and to those of the opposite
sex. "And what is so terrible about that?" you may ask.
- The number of pregnancies (and abortions) among female soldiers
has doubled in recent years, as well as all types of sexually-related
diseases, as is self-understood.
- The army-type slang which naturally develops within a closed society
which receives no input from outside, does not enhance, but rather retards,
personality development.
- Officers, other soldiers with rank, and those serving in the permanent
forces etc., whether they serve locally, or whether they are stationed far from
home, often use the power of their rank and their authority to coerce or entice
their female soldiers into relationships.
- There is also indirect damage which may be caused by women serving
in the army and developing close relationships with members of the opposite
sex. There are a vast number of families in Israel whose family lives have been
destroyed -- whether by divorce, questionable relationships, or lack
of faith in one's spouse.
These facts are known to me from conversations I have had with women soldiers who
have become ba'alot teshuvah. Nor are these facts simply theoretical. They
have been experienced by these women themselves. For example -- a woman
soldier who served in the Air Force told me that she often came across male soldiers
in the women's barracks when she was on her way to sleep at night...And now for
a few words about the other side -- the life-style which the Torah prescribes
for all Jewish women (and not just for the religious among them), and Jewish men.
The Torah, and Jewish tradition, rules that a separation of the sexes until approximately
the age of marriage is by far the healthiest arrangement, for several reasons: It
reduces the sexual tension which is found to a very high degree in army bases, for
example, or in any framework where men and women are placed together. There is no
competition between members of the same sex for the attention of members of the
opposite sex. Each person can develop normally and healthily, without all the "love-problems"
which cause so much heart-ache and worry etc. among today's youth, and which are
so unnecessary and unhealthy. In addition, they do not serve any useful purpose
whatever as a preparation for a happy marriage afterwards. (See the differences
between the marriage and divorce statistics among religious and non-religious segments
of the community.)
The Torah sanctions close relationships between the sexes only when there is
a possibility of bringing naturally-aroused feelings and emotions to a proper and
suitable conclusion -- i.e. at marriageable age when both of them want
to set up a family and a bayit b'Yisrael. Problems of extra-marital pregnancy
and abortions among unmarried girls, as well as sexually-related diseases and many
emotional problems caused directly by contact between the sexes, are literally unknown
among the segments of the community who observe Torah and mitzvot.
A man's appreciation of his wife is found to the highest possible degree in marriages
which are based on the laws of the Torah.
I would be happy to hear your reactions to the content of this letter, and if
you have any further questions, I will be happy to answer them to the best of my
ability. Also, I would like to take this opportunity to invite you to my home for
Shabbat, so that we can meet in person, and talk more. (You can come with a friend,
if you like).
All the best,
Lehitraot, u'lehishtameah,
Nechoma Greisman
Please note: The central point of my argument for women not serving in the army
is not that religious women should be exempt from army service, but that
all women should be exempt, for the above-mentioned reasons. |
